The atheist in me

It's easy to point out the sadness of the intolerant and pompous pronouncements of modern-day atheists like Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, and Sam Harris. How do they shake the haunting emptiness in their soul? What do they fill it with? Learning? Materialism? Humanism? Hedonism? Selfishness?

When they look at the stars at night, do they ever wonder "what is at the edge of space?" When they contemplate the bookends of our existence, do they ever think "when did time begin? And when will it end?" Do they ever wonder, "Who am I?"

But, admittedly, my own world is filled with documented moments of doubt.

Those times when I decide there is no God, not by my words, but by my actions. When I act as if there is only me and I pursue my own ends without regard to His purpose, then I act as an atheist.

Those times when I ignore the souls of those around me and absorb myself in my own cares and pursuits. I am an atheist.

Those times when i ignore the very clear clarion call of God. I act just like the atheist, for the God I claim I do not believe enough to obey.

In those times, I should cry out, "I believe, but God, help my unbelief!"