I remember the day when I called my boss, “Mr.” And I’m not that old. But it was a sign of respect. Now, such formality is dismissed, “Mr. Williams is my dad, just call me ‘Roy.’”So, he becomes Roy and I lose a little piece of the wall of respect that a boss should receive.
When he gives me direction, I say, “yes, sir.” It’s polite. It’s respectful. Roy doesn’t like that either. “This isn’t the military.”
So the work atmosphere is downright chummy. We are no longer a boss and a subordinate. We are two equal cogs in the machine. We are two guys who roll up their sleeves to get it done. We are two soldiers in the same foxhole. The only difference between us is that he gets paid more than I do because he's responsible for the operation. Roy's good for that.
Is this a good thing?
This lack of a wall of respect between the manager and the worker has fallen in many other ways as well. Let's look at outside common interests. Called fraternization in the military, it has actually morphed in to team building and comraderie in today's world. But I don't think it's healthy for a boss shouldn’t socialize with his employees. It sets a bad precedent. It encourages wagging tongues. It feeds gossip. It suggests the boss is playing favorites. It supposed to build teamwork. But it can build resentment.
What do you think about respect in the workplace? Are you old school? Or are you a modern, casual worker. Why? Leave your comment here.
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4 Comments so far, click here to add your own:
Hmmm. I like the idea, I really do, but you know where I work. I have a LOT of respect with my mgr and sup, but one other is a goof. So, after all these years, I give respect where it's deserved. I start out with Sir and then we see where it goes. I'm still repling to my 2 guys with Sir after over a year.
Surprisingly, growing up in the 70s I was still taught to be respectful. I moved to Texas (from Indiana) in the early 80s, where it's typical southern yes sir/ma'am or please/thank you. I say it to my wife and my son at home ... it's that ingrained.
Mr/Ms/Mrs is another thing altogether. If I am using these titles then it is a very formal situation, or I am angry with you. I get very formal when I'm angry - kind of weird actually. I am one of those people who do not like to be called Mr. Harmon.
I do agree that the familiarity can cause a breakdown in the chain of command in a company. I've tried to socialize with people that worked for me but as you point out that tends to just feed the gossip mill. My advice would be for managers/owners not to socialize with their employees outside of work functions.
Brad
Words have power and are important. Using titles as an act of respect fosters professionalism, and protects both parties. Leaders and subordinates can still like, even esteem, each other when formal speech is used. I liked it in the military and later when I worked in Germany.
Thank you Sir for the post. :-)
I like it when someone calls me "Mister" or "Sir" But usually that is called for in a more formal setting. On the day-to-day job, I think respect from a boss has to be earned, but there also has to be trust, too. So maybe the effort to break down some of the barriers is to earn trust. I think you need both working together. You can't do good work for someone you don't trust.
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