What I learned from criticism

When we are criticized, our natural first response is defensive. We may minimize the problem or make excuses. We can deflect, detour and dismiss. And the worst thing we can do is blame.

Red Letter Believers - those who live by the words of Jesus in their every day life -- take responsibility. It’s easy to find someone to pin the blame, but try starting with the man or woman in the mirror.

Unfair criticism can smart. It can cut. But you can use all criticism –– even the unjustified kind –– for your personal enrichment.

Ask, “have I heard this before?” If the criticism is a repeat from someone else, then you might want to consider its validity

“Is there an element of truth?” Some criticisim comes from real defiiciences.

“How could they have reached that conclusion?” Perhaps the perception doesn’t match up with reality and you need to change your presentation.

Criticism can be a good thing if you handle it properly.

Care to comment on how criticism has motivated you to change your life? Comment here.

A word to sparrow number five: "Yes, you matter"

Like many of you, I have spent some portions of my life feeling…left out. I don't care how successful you are, there are times when you think life is passing you by and no one cares.

Now, don't mistake the following as a "pity piece." It isn't. But it is a slice of reality – and of hope -- to those who might just need to find a sliver of hope in my story.

I wasn’t an athlete, and for any boy getting selected for teams for pick-up basketball, it was excruciating.

”Please, don’t let me be last.”

A plain Norwegian, I didn’t exactly catch the girl’s eyes. There was always someone taller, darker, and better looking. Guys have image issues too.

I was an average student. I had to work for my grades, and they were never near the top of the class.

“Please, don’t call on me.”

Entering the work force, the fast track always passed me by. I wasn’t politically savvy or in tune with my employer enough to get the promotions or pay raises.

"I did good, right?"

And I’ve been turned aside by both family and friends, sometimes for reasons that are a mystery.

My story is no different than yours.  But there’s another twist to this life – I have been chosen by Someone who really matters. I’m important to God.

Jesus taught
“Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing?

and then again,

"Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings? And not one of them is forgotten before God... Fear not, therefore. Ye are of more value than many sparrows."

Jesus told his disciples that for a few pennies, you could buy a couple of sparrows. For a few more pennies, you could double your purchase and the fifth one would be thrown in for free.

That’s me. That’s you. We’re the fifth sparrow, the one that really has little earthly value. We are the ones that are lost and forsaken, forgotten and ignored.

And it’s okay because “not one of them is forgotten before God.”

When people walk out of your life, seeking their own pleasure, God remembers the abandoned. When lifetime friends turn their backs on their pledges, God’s promise to you remains. When life passes you by, He sees you.

“You are of more value than many sparrows."

I matter. And so do you.

Comment here.

On the hinge of time -- Do we really need to rewrite history?

The current trend to white-out God from society has reached a new level of absurdity.

It has to do with “A.D." Every New Year, we christen the date with "Anno Domini" in Latin or "the year of the Lord" in English. Secularists want to replace A.D. with CE, which stands for stands for "Common Era." CE and AD have the same and value. 2010 CE = 2010 A.D. The word "common" simply means that it is based on the most frequently used calendar system: the Gregorian Calendar.

"B.C." as we know it is simply, "Before Christ." There's a movement to change that, too. Are we really so thin-skinned as a culture that we are offended by a number?  Really?

The modern era of measuring years traces back to the singular event of the birth of Jesus. No other event changed the course of human events like this one. It was a hinge for all of humanity. It was a moment when all the travesty of humankind could change with the first gulp of air by a newborn infant. This baby would one day bear the burden of the wrongs of the world on himself. That's  a world-changer.

And even if you don’t believe in the incarnation, dismiss the claims to deity and ignore the resurrection, you still have to contend with the fact that Christ’s birth changed history itself. What kind of world would we have today if the Romans had continued running roughshod over the globe. But this rebellion of conversion literally crushed the oppressors through grace.


And ever since, the world culture hasn't been the same. Christianity brought the concept of equality to a world steeped in slavery, misogyny, and racism. It brought the idea of peace instead of retaliation. Christianity literally birthed modern education, politics and medicine. The idea of a perfect God who created an orderly world full of wonder spurred many men and women in discovery and science, technology and the arts.

Changing all of history for the sake of scrubbing out a Jesus you are too afraid to be confronted is the most selfish – and foolish of all endeavors.

Comment here.

Reconciling perfect plans with imperfect people

We all have a perfect plan for our lives that we’ve developed over time. Our fantasy is an idyllic world that we have constructed in our minds. Filled with images of beautiful families in beautiful homes in beautiful  locations, we have arranged just the ideal life.

For me, it was to go to college, write books, have a happy family and live in a remote mountain retreat. Something went awry with that plan. I dropped out of college, wrote books nobody reads, saw family wander, and live in the suburbs.

I remember Bugs Bunny always talking about taking “a wrong turn at Albuquerque.” I too have taken the off-ramp to a different direction..

That’s why I am intrigued with a new book by Pete Wilson simply called Plan B.

The subtitle, "What to do when God doesn't show up the way you thought he would" really should strike a note with all  who are serious about faith because life never goes according to plan!

I read the interview Wilson had with Bonnie Gray at Faith Barista and was amazed at this straightforward truth – God can still use us, even when we deviate from ‘the first choice.’

Wilson says this, “We have an opportunity to choose intimacy with God over our circumstances in every situation.”

At every failure in my life, I’ve been tempted to stop living for God. “I failed me. I failed you. I failed my calling.”

But each time, God picks me up, dusts off the dirt from coat, brushes the hair back, kisses me on the forehead and tells me that I am still His and that He still, still, has a plan for me.

Who am I to say “no?”

What about you? Have you lived through a Plan B and lived to tell? Comment here.

"How did I get here?" Lessons from someone who lost his way

Have you ever looked around and wondered, “How did I get here?”

I’ve been there. Somehow, the tides of life swept me off course and my destination seemed so distant. Perhaps it was because of my inattention to the controls, a lack of focus, or my own disobedience. But in any case, I didn’t want to be “here,” I wanted to be “there.”

It’s a sad experience to look back at that time of wonder and desire, when I had a goal and a destination. I launched my boat in that sacred direction. What happened?


A friend gave this message to me a couple of weeks ago: “Your attention determines your direction which determines your destination.” Those words can never be truer.

Sometimes life just “happens.”  Our first inclination is to blame others. And it's true, you might be off course because someone else slammed into your boat out of their own confusion and wayward life. It recently happened to me. Waving, yelling, trying to get their attention that they were going the wrong direction didn't work. They ignored all the warnings and just ran smack into me.

And sometimes things just happen because this is a crazy, sinful world and I got in the way of depravity run amok.

Rather than pine away about where I ended up and who's to blame,  it's much healthier to take new readings, find my proper destination and set sail again.


And this time, I’ll stay on course.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Heb 12:2

Care to comment? Click here.

Something happened on the road to cool: Why the church will never “relate”

The church has gone to great contortions in the last 30 years to adapt, to change, and to become more relevant to the world.

Hymns? Gone

Steeples? Gone.

Denominational names? Gone.

Tradition? Gone.

We allowed for these and a thousand other changes so as not to alienate the world. We so desperately wanted to embrace and relate to the culture. Paul stood on Mars Hill and preached to the heathen masses, even using their statue “to an unknown God” as a way to pierce their hearts. And we thought we were doing the same.

So we put ashtrays outside our sanctuaries, added mood lights to our stages, and dressed the pastor in jeans. “Now the world will relate! They'll flock!” The result? There has been a continued downward trend of self-identified Christians and a huge uptick in those who claim no religion at all.

• In 1948, only 2% of Americans did not identify with a religion.
• In 1998, 6% of Americans did not identify with a religion.
• In 2002, 10% claimed no God.
• Today, it’s just 13%.

Something happened on the way to being cool.

We need to quit worrying about how we look to the world and simply be about the business of following Christ.

The first century church was relevant, it was engaging, it was exciting. Nearly everyone had either witnessed a miracle or knew someone who had. And yet despite this, the world looked at those early followers with skepticism. Look at Acts 2. The world was “confused”(v. 6) and “perplexed,” (v. 12) And then they mocked (13) the early Christians.

If the first century church had mockers, so will we. It just goes with territory. The foolish things will always confound the wise. In the end, i would rather be a "fool" for Christ, than "cool" for Christ.

“In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Your thoughts? Click here. 

Mother's Day and worship: Do the two belong together?

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Before I go much further, "Mom, I love you." And I have great respect the mother of my children and all the other women out there who gave birth to us, nurtured us and breathed God's gifts into our souls.

But, something has always bothered me this time of year. Churches seem to have adopted Mother's Day as another High Holy Day. Every pastor it seems is obligated to preach a message to men and children about mothers. They are honored and blessed as they should be, but does it belong in church?

Mother's Day was literally born in a church 102 years ago. A woman by the name of Anna Jarvis lost her mother and looked for a way to honor her -- and all the others. So she lobbied and petitioned Congress for an official recognition of the day. As a part of the first observance in Grafton, West Virginia, 500 white carnations were passed out at the official church ceremony as a way paying homage to mothers.

And the tradition has continued.

Interestingly enough, less than a decade after the holiday was established, Jarvis reversed course and spoke out against the day, disillusioned by its pervasive commercialization.

My question about the appropriateness of the day in conjunction with church apparently is shared by others. Christianity Today had an interesting conversation on the very subject.

The discussion goes on both sides. Brett McCracken, author, of Hipster Christianity said, "Churches should seize upon any opportunity to honor the profession of motherhood."

But John Witvliet observes that out of every 5 people who go to church, at least one is angry when they think of mothers, and "a lot of people all mixed" about motherhood. Ellen Dollar wants us to remember those who don't have children. "When you hold up mothers in this very public way it can be very painful for people who don't have kids, even if it's their choice, but especially if it's not."

Another calls it "The cult of the family" that pervades many churches. We "make it the highest and holiest of callings for women."

But the one that resonated with me most is this, from William Willamina. "I think one of today's threats to theology in my part of the church is not fundamentalism, it's sentimentalism. And Mother's Day, which as far as I can tell is a boondoggle created by florists, appears to be just another occasion to say, 'Well now, Christianity is feeling something mushy in your heart. Christianity is mainly feeling something emotional, sentimental, about something.' And we all tend to get kind of sentimental about our mothers."

Wow. What do you think about Mother's Day? What do you think about Mother's Day and church? Am I off my rocker? Do you forgive me, Mom? Comment here.

Without a second thought

Do you remember how you landed your last job?

For me, it was a process marked by cautious optimism, fueled by trust in Someone who had my best interests in mind. I fretted over my resume and application, making sure everything was perfect. I sealed the envelope, stamped it and then laid my hands on it and earnestly prayed. “God, bless this effort.”

A few weeks later, the thrilling call for an interview came in. More preparation and prayers followed. I distinctly remember standing in front of the mirror, ready to go before the review panel. A long, silent prayer was offered. I vowed to serve Him through my job, promising to make my employment an extension of my faith. I told Him, “This time, it would be different.”

I was hired – and promptly ignored all those fervent prayers and promises. He did His part, and I forgot mine.

Michelle DeRusha of the lovely Graceful blog recently posed this question: “How often do you think about God while you’re at work?”

(read the rest of this post below, or hop on over to the High Calling community and participate here)

She admits that she hardly gives Him a thought. Between daily duties, phone calls and deadlines, God just isn’t part of the equation. The sad reality is she’s not alone. Like Michelle, many of us hardly give the Giver of Life much consideration during the workday.

Michelle admits, “I hardly think about Him at all.”

She chalks this attitude up to a “segregation of my faith. I pray at certain times of the day – often in the morning, before the kids awaken, and if I’m lucky enough not to fall asleep first, at night before bed.” And that’s it.

In my life, God has a perfect place – in my home. He sits on nightstand in all His glory, right next to my well-worn Bible. His eyes don’t leave the painting of the olive-skinned Galilean gazing out across the living room. He hovers inside the FM radio singing His praises while I get ready for work.

But that’s not really what we had agreed to.

Michelle quotes Author Jane Tomaine:

“Our work provides opportunities to be in relationship with others where we can let the light of God shine through us…All our work can be an opportunity to listen for God each day.”

Read the rest of Michelle’s post, which includes some practical tips for God at work here.
Comment here .

Photo by Erica Hale, with permission.